Sunday, July 27, 2008
i'm soo glad that God knows what will happen today. i'm so glad He knows what will happen in future. i'm so glad He prepared me for today. Because He filled me with His love overflowing yesterday, i didn't even feel a sense of jealousy this morning. I just felt happy that God loves me despite the outside circumstances.
today, i drove with my dad because my brother went overseas with his gf. after soo many months with training with my brother, i really felt that my driving skills improved alot. but apparently my dad did not think so. i don't know whether it's his mentality that i will never be ready. like never. i was feeling quite irritated inside cause he kept commenting every single thing and he kept saying my turning is too fast. but i think it was fine. for example like during turning, he kept asking me to brake 200m away. i was soooo irritated because it was really slow to the point i felt that other cars would be irritated with me.
soo when i went home, he said that i wasn't ready and i was still feeling super irritated because i really practised a lot already. when my parking was fine, he just said,'if you can't even park in this big lot then i don't think you can drive.' i would really appreciate if he just said i improved or something.
so i asked God why is it like that? then He said, 'why do you keep insisting that you are right? to drive the way you drive is really easy, why don't you learn to submit under authority, to drive the way your dad wants you to when you are with him. that is when you are really ready.' what God said really woke me up and the bitterness just melted away. to submit to authority is real power that will mould and change me. i guess God knows when i'm truly ready and i will pray that the Holy Spirit will teach me ALL things. i guess i'm not ready after all.