Saturday, June 14, 2008
i just came back from camp today.

for me, i really enjoyed these few days. what i enjoyed most was the fellowshipping and praise and worship. through this camp, i met many new people, forge new kingdom friends and have really learnt what it means to be real with each other. the analogy was that if everyone sat in a circle and joined hands, followed by lifting up of right hands, it immediately shows that everyone are lifting up both hands because of the neighbour beside lifting up your left hand for you. the right lifting up the left. the stronger hand holding the weaker hand. that really spoke to me because it really encourages me to open to my caregroup much more knowing that these people are always there for me. to really tell them what i really feel inside which i would only tell God. my camp group was quite fun with chris being the leader around. to even think we won first prize during the games. it's really undeserved and we really really think it came from God. haha. cause based on our logic, being last in two games would have lowered our chances of winning first to zero.

for praise and worship, i cried during every session and i'm glad that these tears are not tears of brokenness but because God touched me (at least for the first two days). the last night praise and worship was really awesome. just like the last day of adventure camp which i still strongly remember, it was the second time that i was slain. during that period, i talked to daddy God. i felt so peaceful that i kept telling Him, i don't want to wake up and face this life, i really don't want. there are too many things for me to handle and i just want to stay in this peace. but He told me that through this life of mine He will ALWAYS be with me. He asked me to carry on because I am really loved by Him. I kept crying that time because i thought of all my friends who were unsaved. i really don't understand why. although God has not answered me, i really felt His presence that night which kind of melted my stubborness away. i think that was the reason why the first two days i couldn't receive that much from the word. i kept thinking to myself, pastor kept talking about law and grace and i have really heard it many many times which made me kind of switch off for the the two services. and selene corrected me on that when she told me that this was the answer to one of the question i had for God. although God has answered the same question through another revelation, but i am glad that everything just fits nicely together.

personally, i felt that i expected more from God this camp. but i think it is because of my own heart, that i received less than what i expected. i know God is pouring out His love and grace throughout the whole camp- exceedingly, abundantly, but God didn't answer all my questions. that's what i felt. the first two days, i felt as though it was just like a camp with many services a day, but it was only till the last day when i really enjoyed Him and the word. i have really learnt much more from this experience and i cannot wait to go for more church camps in the future.